Blog Post #25: Apathy

I heard Michelle Obama say on a podcast recently that apathy is dangerous. And, that adults can’t afford to be apathetic. This struck an interesting chord within me because I feel like I am someone who easily falls to apathy. Something doesn’t go my way, or I start to despair about the state of the world we live in, and boom- my coping mechanism is apathy. And perhaps  apathy can be helpful at times. No use staying up all night worrying when it would be much more productive to get a good night's sleep. But apathy- non-caring- can lead to non-action, where sometimes we must act.That’s what’s dangerous.

As a young adult, I think part of my mental struggle at this point in life is deciding: what do I care about? And what can I afford to be apathetic about? I don’t have all the answers right now. I know that I care about music, because I don’t think I could live without it, and because even as self-depricating I may be to myself at times, I understand that art can inspire change, and when one has a talent for art it is our duty to use it. I still believe apathy has a place, in a way. It’s helped me win competitions, for one. When I was in high school, hearing even just a snippet of a contestant before me could send me into a state of paralysis. In those moments, I let myself be apathetic to how others might sound, and allowed me to focus on my own musical storytelling. I also think that apathy might save us from spreading ourselves too thin. Literally. I’ve spent so much of my life wanting to look perfect, achieve the perfect physique, but I think it comes to a point where I must pick and choose my battles. To me, becoming a good pianist matters more to me than becoming a high-fashion model. Social media only feeds this flame. Suddenly we must all look perfect, act perfect, eat perfect, have the perfect relationship and perfect career, the perfect family, all while solving world hunger and creating world peace. 

But we don’t. 

As I approach my 20th birthday, I continue to search for my own answers- what really matters to me? What makes me feel alive, and gives me a sense of purpose? I think it’s useful for everyone to stop and ask themselves these questions, whether you’re approaching 20 or rounding out 90 years. And lastly, remember that you can always say no. It’s your life, and dear reader, you deserve to live it your way.