Blog #22 It's Your Life

I learned a valuable lesson this week. Self-care is not selfish. In fact, it’s necessary. You need to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others, after all. But more than that, as a fairly young person, I have a pretty impressionable mind. I care about what other people think. A LOT. And of course, caring what other people think can help us learn. I listen to my piano teacher if I want to improve at the piano, I listen to my friends if I want advice. But in the swamp of other people’s opinions, it’s our own voice that’s most important (so long as that voice doesn’t intend to harm ourselves or others). This week, I was supposed to go on a one night camping trip with two friends. One of them had been planning and looking forward to it for almost a year. But the morning of the trip, I woke up with dread in my stomach. A few hours later, I had a huge headache. And then I realized, I didn’t want to go on the camping trip. But it wasn’t just that. I realized that I’d never wanted to go. I had my reasons, of course. But I felt like a terrible person. My friends were looking forward to this trip. Couldn’t I just suck it up and go? The answer was no. So I texted our trip group chat and said I wouldn’t be going. And you know what? It was okay. No friendships lost, or trust broken. At therapy later in the week, my therapist told me making that decision was a win for me. In the end, my feelings matter. And if my body and mind told me I didn’t want to go camping, the only thing I could do was listen. I think this is the start of a new chapter. We’re all living our own lives. It’s our canvas to write on. Honestly I think life is a lot like this blog. “Laura, Unedited”. Or “insert name, Unedited”. I’m going to keep writing what I want to write, and I hope you all will do the same.