Blog Post #5: Jazzy Grey Days

There is something special about the grey days, the days where the ground is wet and slushy, the fog rolling in and out and you can’t tell if it’s rain or snow that’s falling from the sky. I went on a walk today in that weather. Despite the cold air biting my ears, the need for careful stepping, and the wind blowing my hair across my face, it was the happiest I’d felt all day. My strategy for countering the grey around me is to listen to music that I enjoy. Today it was jazz. I started off with Misty and continued with whatever Spotify had in mind for me. The warmth and color of the music kept me warm inside and made me feel like an orange flame traveling through the grey landscape. There was hardly anyone else outside, just two or three people. One of these people was an acquaintance of mine, J. I call him an acquaintance because we never formally introduced ourselves to each other, but run into each other now and then. He always stops, looks me up and down, and finds a part of my outfit to complement. Today it was my shoes, sea foam green converse with flowers embroidered on the side. He has the walk of someone who grew up in the world of musical theatre, his stance always makes me feel like I also need to stand a little taller. Today he was going on a run. He complained about the sludge everywhere, so I suggested a gym. He said he didn’t want to be confined by the walls of society, which was a fair point. He asked me where I was going, and I said “nowhere”, which prompted a slow nod of agreement. We parted ways and I watched him run off, black wool coat flapping around his knees, silver headphones securely on his head, footsteps slightly lopsided in order to not slip. Watching him run off gave me a sense of inspiration. Here was a person so comfortable in being himself that he’d rather run through the cold and slush to enjoy the outdoor air than be trapped in the balmy slightly rubber-smelling air of a gym. As a classical pianist I feel this, when people are gathering on Saturday nights to head to the bars and I am trekking to a practice room to make some new discoveries in whatever Shostakovich or Chopin passage I may be thinking about that day. As in the lyrics of another of the jazz tunes I was listening to today, You Don’t Own Me. “I’m free, and I love to be free/ To live my life the way I want”. An existence that can feel lonely at times, but I know that one can be just as lonely surrounded by a group of people. But I also like to find a balance. I enjoy my time with my friends, and they inspire me. Speaking of jazz, I’m taking a class on jazz piano at the moment. As a classically-trained pianist, it’s an unfamiliar world to me. But not a fearful world. The first thing my jazz teacher said to me was, “music should never be a fearful thing”. Every class when I am called to solo, I still have no idea what I’m doing. I play some notes and ornaments and try to stay in time with the music, and I enjoy it very much. I find jazz a freeing universe where “wrong” notes aren’t really wrong, but opportunities for exploration. I’m learning, and learning is one of my greatest joys in this life. That, and the aimless walks on grey days.